I’ve decided to move my old blog from MySpace to this place.  So you will be seeing some new posts with old dates as I make the migration… a blast from the past so to speak…

I’m creating a new category for them called “From MySpace” so if you want to read those posts specifically, you can use the drop down category list at the top left of my blog to go straight to them.  I hope you enjoy them!

Actual conversation on the phone after a really bad day:

Him: I’m sorry you are having a bad day.

Me: I just keep asking who I pissed off today that I deserve this bad day.

Him: Well, if you look at it objectively, everything that happened today was a direct result of your own actions.

(total quiet)

Me:  Yeah, like me picking up this phone and calling you right now?

(laughter on the other end)

I kissed a girl, and I liked it!

Actual conversation:

Me: Baby, do you think I’m fun?

Him: Absolutely.

Me: Would I be more fun if I came in different flavors?

Him: (pause) What?

Me: Like Starburst – there are different flavors of Starburst and that’s fun.

Him: I don’t like Starburst.

Me: Okay, well then like potato chips – there are different flavors of potato chips… you like potato chips!

Him: You are more fun than Starburst or potato chips… funner, even..

Someone very close to me did a bad thing a long time ago.  She cheated on her husband with my ex-husband… and the results produced a child.  She came clean to her husband, they worked through it, she had the child and her husband raised the child as his own.

I found out about it last year for the first time.

It’s funny – because you know, I slept with my best friend’s husband when they were still married and kept it secret for five years – before telling her and eventually losing the dearest friend I ever had in my life.  So I had a unique perspective on the whole situation when I found about this friend and her indiscretion.  Plus, it helps that I’m not with my ex AND I don’t like him all that much.  His actions didn’t surprise me.

If I’m honest, my friend’s actions didn’t surprise me either.  Not because she is anything like my ex-husband – not at all.  I know she didn’t deliberately do this act out of malice, out of spite or anything like that at all.  She is a good person – warm-hearted, loving, a great mother and a good friend.

How can I say that when I now know what she did to her husband, and I guess in some way, to me?  Because I can see that she didn’t do this to me.  This wasn’t about me.  This wasn’t even about her husband.  This was about my friend and her circumstances at the time.  Sometimes people make bad decisions and end up living with the results for the rest of their lives.

I guess I can’t be mad at my friend because I am her in some ways.  I guess I can’t be mad at my friend because I know the pain and guilt she is living with every day.  I guess I can’t be mad at my friend because she did this to herself.

I know that now – from personal experience.

I found out last year but she and I just talked about it last night, at her insistence.  I was quite content to live with the knowledge, be her friend and let it go.  But she wanted to talk about it – no – she needed to talk about it.  She had to let me know she didn’t do it on purpose, didn’t do it to hurt me or even her husband (now an ex-husband, by the way).

I understand.

Sometimes you just need to talk it all out – to admit what you did to someone besides yourself.  I didn’t offer her forgiveness because there was nothing to forgive from my perspective.  But maybe she can finally forgive herself.  It might make it easier to live with.  If she figures out how to do that, I hope she shares her secret.

A Mon-Mon

September 14, 1972

12:06 a.m.

(the first and only girl… a mother’s fervent wish)

p.s. J says my hair still sometimes looks like this first thing in the a.m. – that cheeky monkey…

Actual conversation:

Me: Would you say I was controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, or intolerant of others’ views?

Him: Maybe a little self-absorbed…

Me: (gasp) You’re a little self-absorbed!

Him: Your always telling everyone how pretty you are…

Me: That is NOT self-absorption…

Him: No?

Me: No. It’s sexy confidence in my absolute cuteness…

“Five. Yup, definitely five people to make an orgy.”

Today is my lover’s birthday.  He dreads this day every year because he thinks he is getting old.  I tease him every year by saying, “you are only as old as you act, so my love, you are barely 12 years old…”

It’s funny to think that he worries about getting older because he is so young at life, young at heart, and young in spirit.  He always gets carded because of his boyishly handsome good looks.  He is the life of the party and people – women especially – flock to him at parties.  He has very few worries in his life because he chooses to celebrate the goodness in life, to focus on the fun that life has to offer.

He’s my own Peter Pan… and I love when he turns to me and whispers, “Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you’ll never, never have to worry about grown up things again. “

All we need is fairy dust…

Happy birthday, my love… and remember, you just think happy thoughts.