an existential keekah

I am well into my second semester at the local state college. In fact, I’m about two weeks away from Spring Break, which would probably mean more to me if I was a 20-something with no job, parents who paid for my college, and keggers to look forward to… ah to be young once.

This semester I took two courses and they couldn’t be further apart in curriculum. As my dear readers know, I decided to switch majors from Computer Informations Systems to Human Services. I have to pick a concentration, and since the older I get the less I like children (except for those I already hold near and dear to my heart, for goodness sakes please don’t go thinking I dislike your child, [insert your name here if you know me and you have a child/children] unless I’ve already told you to your face your children bother me, heh) and I really don’t want to focus on addictions, I’ve decided my concentration will be mental health/counseling (with an emphasis in counseling).

That’s right – I want to give advice for a living… what a stretch of the imagination. And I want to get paid for it.

So these first two semester I’ve attended classes whose sole purpose was to get me in touch with my own emotions, my own issues, my own anxieties and to own them. It’s been an interesting ride. This semester I’m taking a course called Intro to Human Services and the teacher is an interesting person to say the least. She’s already canceled one homework assignment, let us grade our own tests, and put us in partner groups with whom we share everything and anything we care to with regarding the topic of discussion that week.

My class is probably one of the best group dynamics I’ve ever been in – probably because we all like to talk, but we are also courteous, we care what others think, and we all like to hear each other’s thoughts. I have yet to get bored in this class and it runs anywhere from 3.5 to 4 hrs one night a week. I even enjoy the damn papers, which are few and far between. The teacher is a touchy-feely (not as in she likes to grope her students) who openly and freely discusses her past, her issues, and what worked for her as a clinical therapist. Plus she has really long hair and is kinda hippy, which appeals more and more to me as I get older.

This is such a contradiction to my other class because I am taking another course this semester called Structured Problem Solving, which is from my old major Computer Information Systems. When I decided to take this class, I convinced myself it was because I wanted to take a Database Administration course, which is true, and that it would be good for my current career, which is also true. This class is an introduction class to programming, which actually bores me to death when I think about it, but is actually quite challenging, which my brain enjoys.

So I am quite literally caught between two worlds – my current work world, which to be honest I’ve never enjoyed – except for the fat paychecks it brings me because IT always pays well unless you are dumb and don’t know how to work the system – and between this new and exciting world that I know nothing about but intrigues the hell out of me but probably won’t be nearly as profitable.

At some point these two paths will converge, and I will have to make a tough choice. For now though I will just keep taking both types of classes and see where it takes me. This has always been my most walked path in life, and it has yet to steer me wrong… well except for that six months I spent in Fon Du Lac, WI in the dead of winter on a data conversion that was actually as bad as it sounds typed out.

I don’t know which path I’ll take, which fork will appeal to me more but maybe I don’t have to know right this minute. Maybe I can stop and smell the roses (or loose leaf notebooks) along the way, enjoy the scenery so to speak (did I just say so to speak, eh gads, I must be back in school. [Insert serious eye roll here]) Maybe that will make all the difference. (thanks to Robert Frost for allowing me my loose interpretation of his words – I think I threw in some other literary reference as well. Oh well – Frost is dead, so maybe the other dude is too.)

*My title is not actually in reference to any Heather I now know or once knew in a former life but is actually an tribute quote for a seriously classic movie, well classic for me in that I like it and I own it and yeah, that makes it a classic to me. Is it me or am I overexplaining everything tonight? What’s that? I always do this… who knew?