an existential keekah

You guys let us know – J and I disagreed on whether this was a funny conversation or not – tell us what you think in comments – and guess which one of us thought it was funny!

Actual conversation this morning:

Him: (singing) I love you, meekah (another nickname)

Me: (singing also) I love you, too!

Him: (still singing) Even though you find me annoying…

Me: (sighing) I can’t have this conversation with you because if I try to explain you will just end up mad at me.

Him: (no longer singing) You told me to get up and then you pulled me back into bed.

Me: I just wanted to snuggle with you, and you wouldn’t let me just enjoy it!

Him: (exasperated) But we did snuggle before that! It was time to get up.

Me: (annoyed) Now how many times in the five years that we’ve been together have you pulled me back into bed to snuggle a second time?

Him: (very serious) Two!

Me: (lost for words)

Both of us: (laughing very loudly as I smack him on the butt)

Coworker #1:  It was a real pleasure meeting Mon-Mon last night at dinner.

Coworker #2:  Yes, it was.  She’s a real sweetheart.

Coworker #1:  Yes, she is.  So, is she just staying with you for a bit?

Him:  (thinking, confused, and wondering where this is going so he opts for):  Yup.  She’s the girl I’m dating this week.

Coworker #1:  Oh.  I see.

Coworker #2:  (His name)!  That is SO not true.  There’s a picture of you two on your desk!

Him (laughing):  Why you all up in my desk business?

Coworker #1 (confused):  So she IS your girlfriend?

Him:  Yes.  We’ve been together almost five years now.

Coworker #1 (even more confused):  But at dinner last night, you said that you had just picked her up at the airport Sunday night.

Him:  (pauses, let’s what she said sink in)  True.  She was just out of town for the weekend and I picked her up at the airport Sunday night.

Both coworkers:  (laughing)

Later that evening after he relays the story to me….

Me (smiling):  I’m suprised you didn’t tell them I was your roommate.

Actual conversation after a dinner at a nice restaurant:

Him:  (after listening to a message on his cell) that was the manager from the restaurant.

Her:  Really? What did she say?

Him:  She apologized again for the inconvenience of having to move us so she could get some more wine bottles.

Me:  Well, that was nice but kind of weird for her to call us.

Him:  She also said we left too fast as she wanted to give us a gift of stemware to thank us.

Her and Me:  Aw!  How sweet!

Him:  I don’t want stemware.  I’d prefer a blowjob from her.

Me: (disgustedly) You always get a blowjob!  We never get stemware!

Actual conversation as he drove me to the park-n-ride this morning:

Me: (after reading the outside temperature from inside the car) Hey! The refrigerator said the temperature outside was only 30 degrees.

Him: (frustrated) Well the car was inside the garage for the night. It needs time to acclimate.

He hits the outside temperature button in the car again.

Him:  What does the temperature gauge read now? (sees that it reads 41 degrees)

Me:  I just showed you!

Him: Well I didn’t look!  I was busy performing safety checks in order to keep your cute body safe while I’m driving.

Me:  You mean like the safety check where you make sure I put on my seat belt?

He glances over at me, taking his eyes off the road, and sees I’m not wearing my seat belt.  He sighs angrily.

Me:  Like the safety check where you take your eyes off the road while driving?

Him:  (shaking his head as he glances back to the road) I can’t wait to tell you “I told you so” when we are involved in an accident and you’re hurt and I’m not.

Me: (wisely maintains a silence… after a slight giggle)