Me: (handing him a bag) Here, this is your stuff.

Him: Thanks. (drops the bag at his feet right where he stands)

Me: (snorts derisively)

Him: (pretending to be me) Why did you do that? I could’ve done that.

Him: (in response to the fake me) Well why didn’t you?

Me: Why are you are having this fake conversation with yourself?

Him: To save you the trouble.

Me: Well you don’t even need me around, then.

Me: Moxi (kitty) keeps waking me up.

Him: (heavy sarcasm here) Gee I wouldn’t know what that is like – does she kick you awake?

Me: (laughing) Did I keep kicking you last night?

Him: Yes.

Me: I’m sorry. (slight pause) I think it’s your fault though.

Him: Of course.

Me: You have this new habit of lying in the middle of the bed so when I need to turn you are right there. I think it’s because you sleep alone in hotel rooms all week long.

Him: I think it’s because I am trying to get as close to you as possible.

Me: Aw. That’s sweet. Well now you will sleep better for the rest of the week since you will be alone.

Him: I sleep horribly during the week without you.

Me: (thinking) See, maybe you need to be kicked in the middle of the night in order to sleep better. I’m doing you a service. (grinning)

Him: Maybe.

Me: I figured out why I was upset last night.  It’s because you want to do that DVD workout now but when I could do it and wanted to do it with you, you wouldn’t do it. Now I can’t do the workout because of my knee, you want to do it.

Him:  Can’t I be flippant?

Slight Pause

Me: Can you be what?

Him: Flippant, you know, flippant.

Me:  I don’t think that’s what that word means. I mean, what do you think that word means?

Him: Are you near a computer?

Me: Oh I’m looking it up. It means frivolously disrespectful, shallow, or lacking in seriousness; characterized by levity

Him: Oh.

Me: That’s not the definition you intended, right? You meant more along the lines of changing your mind about the DVD, right?

Him: Yeah, that’s how I meant it.

Me: See what I did there? You literally used the wrong word but I interpreted what you meant to say based on the context of our conversation. I did what you can never do with me, see?

Him: Uh-huh.

Me: I’m serious. You see what I just did there, right?

Him: I understand because you pointed out to me that I should understand but I don’t understand how I’m supposed to do that.

Him: I don’t understand how anyone can promise to “love eternally.”  When you’re dead, you are dead.  There isn’t anything else.

Me: So what are you trying to say?  You aren’t going to love me eternally?

Him: I can’t.  I’ll be dead.  I won’t have the faculties to love you when I’m dead.

Me: You don’t know that, you’ve never been dead before.

Him: Uh-huh.  I was married for almost ten years.

Me: The girls came back to the house after dinner last night to hang out with me.  That was way cool.

Him:  Those kids love us.

Me: Yeah, they came back to the house after dinner just to check out the house and stayed til after 10pm.

Him:  Did you all get topless and rub boobies? Cause that’s how I’m gonna remember it.

Him:  Mine points to the north star.

Me: (laughing) That’s true.

Him:  It will come in handy if we ever get lost in the woods.

I no longer look back at our time together and think of how far we’ve come.  Instead I am thankful for every day we have together and every experience we share.  I celebrate every day he is in my life and consider the presence of him in my life to be the greatest gift I’ve received from him.

Today, I know, he will be pondering his age again, as only this time of the year makes him do.  And I leave him this quote and hope he reads it and ponders its significance instead.

“Everyone is the age of their heart.”  ~Guatemalan Proverb

I love you, Jeffery. Happy birthday!

BB: (to him) Does this bra make my boobs look big?

Him: I’m not sure how to answer that question.

Me: Your boobs make your boobs look big.

Me: Thanks for always taking care of me.

Him: Uh huh

Me: I feel kind of special knowing you do this for me and you didn’t do it in other relationships.

Him: It’s 40% necessity.

Me: What do you mean?

Him:  I don’t want to you to die.

Him:  I was watching this porno where this couple was doing it doggie-style but the woman was doing all the work.

Me:  I think we saw that together.  It sounds familiar.

Him: Yeah, it does sound familiar.

Me: (laughing) How can it not sound familiar to you? You just said it.

Him:  Did I just say that?