Actual conversation after a visit to the store:
Me: (handing him a bag) Here, this is your stuff.
Him: Thanks. (drops the bag at his feet right where he stands)
Me: (snorts derisively)
Him: (pretending to be me) Why did you do that? I could’ve done that.
Him: (in response to the fake me) Well why didn’t you?
Me: Why are you are having this fake conversation with yourself?
Him: To save you the trouble.
Me: Well you don’t even need me around, then.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation at 3am on Monday morning just before he leaves for the airport:
Me: Moxi (kitty) keeps waking me up.
Him: (heavy sarcasm here) Gee I wouldn’t know what that is like – does she kick you awake?
Me: (laughing) Did I keep kicking you last night?
Him: Yes.
Me: I’m sorry. (slight pause) I think it’s your fault though.
Him: Of course.
Me: You have this new habit of lying in the middle of the bed so when I need to turn you are right there. I think it’s because you sleep alone in hotel rooms all week long.
Him: I think it’s because I am trying to get as close to you as possible.
Me: Aw. That’s sweet. Well now you will sleep better for the rest of the week since you will be alone.
Him: I sleep horribly during the week without you.
Me: (thinking) See, maybe you need to be kicked in the middle of the night in order to sleep better. I’m doing you a service. (grinning)
Him: Maybe.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation over the phone:
Me: I figured out why I was upset last night. It’s because you want to do that DVD workout now but when I could do it and wanted to do it with you, you wouldn’t do it. Now I can’t do the workout because of my knee, you want to do it.
Him: Can’t I be flippant?
Slight Pause
Me: Can you be what?
Him: Flippant, you know, flippant.
Me: I don’t think that’s what that word means. I mean, what do you think that word means?
Him: Are you near a computer?
Me: Oh I’m looking it up. It means frivolously disrespectful, shallow, or lacking in seriousness; characterized by levity
Him: Oh.
Me: That’s not the definition you intended, right? You meant more along the lines of changing your mind about the DVD, right?
Him: Yeah, that’s how I meant it.
Me: See what I did there? You literally used the wrong word but I interpreted what you meant to say based on the context of our conversation. I did what you can never do with me, see?
Him: Uh-huh.
Me: I’m serious. You see what I just did there, right?
Him: I understand because you pointed out to me that I should understand but I don’t understand how I’m supposed to do that.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation over breakfast:
Him: I don’t understand how anyone can promise to “love eternally.” When you’re dead, you are dead. There isn’t anything else.
Me: So what are you trying to say? You aren’t going to love me eternally?
Him: I can’t. I’ll be dead. I won’t have the faculties to love you when I’m dead.
Me: You don’t know that, you’ve never been dead before.
Him: Uh-huh. I was married for almost ten years.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual IM conversation:
Me: The girls came back to the house after dinner last night to hang out with me. That was way cool.
Him: Those kids love us.
Me: Yeah, they came back to the house after dinner just to check out the house and stayed til after 10pm.
Him: Did you all get topless and rub boobies? Cause that’s how I’m gonna remember it.
1 Comment | Actual Conversations, All About Me, boyfriend, funny | Tagged: boobies, girl on girl | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation:
Him: Mine points to the north star.
Me: (laughing) That’s true.
Him: It will come in handy if we ever get lost in the woods.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Today is Jeffery’s birthday and I find myself once again wanting to write down how amazing I find this man to be.
I no longer look back at our time together and think of how far we’ve come. Instead I am thankful for every day we have together and every experience we share. I celebrate every day he is in my life and consider the presence of him in my life to be the greatest gift I’ve received from him.
Today, I know, he will be pondering his age again, as only this time of the year makes him do. And I leave him this quote and hope he reads it and ponders its significance instead.
“Everyone is the age of their heart.” ~Guatemalan Proverb
I love you, Jeffery. Happy birthday!
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation with a buxomy beauty around campfire:
BB: (to him) Does this bra make my boobs look big?
Him: I’m not sure how to answer that question.
Me: Your boobs make your boobs look big.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation:
Me: Thanks for always taking care of me.
Him: Uh huh
Me: I feel kind of special knowing you do this for me and you didn’t do it in other relationships.
Him: It’s 40% necessity.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: I don’t want to you to die.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation at breakfast:
Him: I was watching this porno where this couple was doing it doggie-style but the woman was doing all the work.
Me: I think we saw that together. It sounds familiar.
Him: Yeah, it does sound familiar.
Me: (laughing) How can it not sound familiar to you? You just said it.
Him: Did I just say that?
1 Comment | Actual Conversations, All About Me, boyfriend, funny, sex | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah
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