an existential keekah

Life. It’s just one damn thing after another.

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Archive for the ‘All About Me’ Category

We Can Rebuild Her

Posted by mmkeekah on July 7, 2009

Last October, I bit down on a soft chocolate candy and almost swallowed one of my crowns.  It apparently came loose while I was enjoying my rich chocolatey goodness.  Or maybe I lost it because I’m just so darn sweet!  At any rate, I went to the dentist to have it placed back on the tooth it previously had protected… but it was not meant to be.

See I’d had a root canal done on this tooth when I was 19, which was almost 20 years ago!  So apparently the tooth continued to deteriorate and it was to the point where a simple crowning would not work.  I had to have the tooth pulled.  This was quite distressing to me – if you know me at all you understand why. I’m seriously anal about my teeth.  Floss every night, brush a minimum twice a day, use every contraption my dentist tells me will work for cleaning my teeth – I mean everything.  And yet my teeth give me such problems!

First I had that root canal when I was 19.  Then they pulled all four of my wisdom teeth and four additional teeth when I got my braces.  I wore those damn braces for over 2 1/2 years… meanwhile I had cavities galore!  A few years ago I cracked one of my teeth and had to get a dental bridge to replace it – and those things are not fun to keep clean.  And then I lost this cap and eventually the tooth it protected.

Since it was a tooth that was serving as a back tooth, I can’t get another bridge (thank goodness).  So my choices were a flipper tooth, which it has to be taken out every time it needs cleaning – again not appealing – or an implant.  The implant has its own problems (uh they drill into your jaw and screw the implant in, your body could reject it, uh did I mention the cost?) but in the end I decided it was better to have the surgery for the implant than to have to deal with a yucky removable tooth.  I mean I can barely handle flossing my bridge without heaving for goodness sake!

So I did the implant and of course our insurance decided that they wouldn’t be covering the implant because I could’ve gone with the lower cost of the flipper tooth.  Ain’t that a bitch?  I wonder if any of those jerks have to deal with a flipper tooth. Blah.

So now I have 160 days to contest by writing a letter (strongly worded, I might add) asking them to reconsider.  I don’t even know what to say… “Quit being cheap bastards… please… and thank you.”

Posted in All About Me, loss | Leave a Comment »

Right Kinda Lovin’ on Sunday Morning

Posted by mmkeekah on July 1, 2009

On Sunday, J had our two Amazon parrots outside, basking in the sun.

Apparently they are feeling a little frisky because, Niki, the male bird started regurgitating his food to feed the female bird, Gilligan.

Then Niki began his dance of love.

Last weekend he tried to mount her (or whatever birds do)… she is actually very receptive… it’s just, well, we don’t have the heart to tell them it ain’t gonna happen.

They are two different species of parrots.

Alas, their love is doomed.

Posted in All About Me | Leave a Comment »

Something Special

Posted by mmkeekah on June 22, 2009

Today is the anniversary of the car accident that claimed my parents’ lives. It’s been 23 years since that day.

Tonight, my cousin, K, called me to get my opinion on a gift that his wife thought of and that my family wants to carry out. They would like to get a “In Memory Of” dedication sign with my parents’ names placed at the scene of the accident.

I am moved to tears – and it takes a lot to make me cry. But these are tears of joy, not pain. It means a lot to me that my mother and father meant so much to my mom’s side of the family that they would consider this gift. I can’t think of a better way to honor my parents.

Thank you, K and H and the rest of the family for such a thoughtful gift. Thank you for remembering two wonderful people.

Posted in All About Me, Daddy, loss, mom | Leave a Comment »

A Poly Question Answered… a little late

Posted by mmkeekah on June 20, 2009

A few weeks back, The Beautiful Kind asked me a question in response to my post about my break-up with N. I started to respond immediately, but then realized I was lacking the appropriate time and distance from my situation in order to respond as A Mon-Mon would respond.

TBK said:

I’m cleaning house this week on my blog and just went through and purged the Triad stories from my site. Made me think of you. Do you think the best model for poly is to have a primary partner, and date secondaries as they come, enjoying the time you have with them, but not expecting to form long term romantic relationships with them? That seems to be the style that works best for me. To me, poly is having the ability to to add romance or sex to the list of things you can do with your friends.

My gut reaction was to agree with TBK because J and I have found a way to be comfortable and secure in ourselves and each other, a way to work through the discomforts that sometimes come from an open relationship without letting it almost destroy what we have like we did when we dated K. But we can’t seem to make it work with outside people. The very thing that we took so long to build, this solid relationship, seems to be the one thing that feels threatening to those we are interested in. Still fresh from the breakup with N, which started out well but turned bitter and ugly quickly, well yeah I wanted to say, “Yes! I prefer the primary model and want only to date secondaries, knowing that those people will not be permanent fixtures in my life.”

But then I remembered that I don’t care for the terms primary and secondary when they are applied to real life people. It makes those people seem less important, almost throwaways without any rights. I just can’t sign off on that… especially when we both have other people in our lives who are really good friends and some of those are even lovers. People who might be viewed as secondary because they aren’t part of my primary relationship with J, who occupy the background for a variety of reasons but are hardly secondary to either of us. If they feel secondary, well that would suck as both J and I try so very hard not to put anyone in that spot. Yet neither of us has control of how people perceive what we offer, what we give and how we choose to look at love.

It is true that J and I are in fact primaries because we chose to share our lives together, our domicile is together and our money is pooled. We get along enough to occupy the same space and still strive to give each other the respect and autonomy each needs without losing the jointness of our lives. He’s a little bit better at that than me, but every year I grow a little more and appreciate the lessons this relationship teaches me.

It makes me sad to think that my relationship with J could be threatening to potential love interests – threatening for the very reason that J and I love each other so much. Apparently it is evident how much I adore the man and how much he returns that love by the look in his eyes. I feign annoyance but I guess people see right through me to the fact that I love Jeffery Zander very much.

What people fail to see is how much I would love to share my love for J with a special someone who can look past their own personal insecurities and focus instead on the faith I’ve found in our love. Maybe someday… but if not, well I will treasure what I have.

I got off track a little. But maybe not. Because for me polyamory is about sharing love. It’s about the ability to get past those insecurities that demand we be primary to our lovers, forsaking all others even when love might join more than two hearts. I don’t know if I will ever have a true polyamorous relationship and I don’t really care anymore. I just want to live life and enjoy what it sends my way. And if that means its just J and me, well then so be it. But I couldn’t ever subscribe personally to the primary/secondary model, though I respect that it works for some… like TBK a beautifully wild and sexy woman who’s found a Beast to honor her Goddess as she deserves.

I hope that answers your question, TBK, and I thank you for asking…

Posted in All About Me, polyamory | 2 Comments »

I Am Robot

Posted by mmkeekah on June 13, 2009

Actual conversation while listening to the Black Eyed Peas new album:

Him: (gyrating in the hallway naked)

Me: (just out of the shower) We need to get going…

Him (still dancing and not paying attention)

Me: Get in the shower!

Him: I’m dancing here! (breaks into the Robot)

Posted in Actual Conversations, All About Me, boyfriend, funny | Leave a Comment »

Tartily Ever After

Posted by mmkeekah on May 23, 2009

Actual conversation at my uncle’s birthday party:

Me: My ex-girlfriend was there with us that night…

Cousin’s Wife (in her Scottish brogue): Are you two talking to K again?

Me: No, not that ex-girlfriend… I meant N…

Her: How many ex-girlfriend’s do you have, you tart?

Posted in Actual Conversations, All About Me | Leave a Comment »

Rockin’ the Cashel

Posted by mmkeekah on May 21, 2009

This morning we left Kinsale and headed up north towards Dublin. Rather than drive all the way to Dublin, which is almost a five hour drive, we chose a halfway point to stop overnight. The town of Cashel is home to the famous Rock of Cashel and not much else. It wasn’t any bigger than say the town of Avon or Bailey in Colorado. We weren’t expecting much other than a place to spend the night.

We got into town early around noon and walked the town in the first ten minutes. We decided to eat lunch at a place called Feehan’s, which turned out to be a happening bar at lunch time. We both had the Club sandwich, which was a delicious three tiered sandwich with chicken salad, egg salad, bacon – everything bad for you! It, of course, came with chips and a small side of coleslaw (their version of a side salad). I had a Baileys & coffee and Jeff had an Irish coffee and more Guinness.

Then we decided to tour the Rock of Cashel. I wasn’t too enthused because it wasn’t a castle per se, but more of an abandoned, somewhat decrepit fort that the town was revitalizing. So I was thinking there wasn’t going to be much to see. Boy was I wrong. We took a self-guided tour that began with a short movie about the history of the town. And what a history! The fort was home to the Kings of Cashel and families warred over the title of King. Until one family gave the fort to the Church. The fort was then lost during the turbulent times when Ireland fought and lost to England.

The walk around the inside of the fort was amazing. Stepping into each old building and imagining it during its heyday literally amazed me. Walking around the cemetery and reading headstones that dated back to late 1700’s up to last year (apparently people are still buried there but only if their families bought the plots by the 1930’s) was also very cool. And the view from the Rock of Cashel into town presented awesome picture taking opportunities for J. Plus we spotted an old Abbey that we also visited – just the ruins but still amazing. It was called the Hore Abbey, which inspired giggles out of J.

Afterward we spent the evening in town eating dinner and drinking at a different pub with the locals, who were so nice and wonderful. We even got to hear a local sing Johnny Cash for us. J found a redhead to chat with and was quite content for most of the night. We also sat with a bunch of regulars, one of who was the town drunk – and he was quite amusing. There was also a couple of women from California and a group of school lads still wet behind the ears and guzzling beers and shots like there was no tomorrow. Cashel turned out to be more than we expected and a great ending to a wonderful trip.

Posted in All About Me, Vacations, boyfriend | Leave a Comment »

Knocking His Head Off

Posted by mmkeekah on May 20, 2009

We had two days and two nights in Kinsale – and really enjoyed staying put and not having to rush through anything. Our first night in Kinsale, we settled into our B&B, which was by far the biggest room of the three B&B’s we’d been in since we got into Ireland. One side of the room had a sloped ceiling that J could just not remember was lower than the rest of the room. He kept walking into with various parts of his head, leaving him to talk about his concussion for most of our stay in Kinsale (much to my enjoyment, mind you).

We walked around the entire town our first night and then stopped at a beautiful restaurant on the harbor called the Fishy Fishy Cafe. We did not make reservations, so we were sat at the bar, which turned out to be great since our waiter was the bartender. I ate monk fish for the very first time – a very meaty, mild flavored fish – and it came with a vegetable risotto which was lovely, as the vegetables were still crunchy but the risotto was creamy and al dente – perfecto! J had a Fishy Fishy pie, which was also fantastico! and then we went to a lovely pub whose name I can’t pronounce for our very first night of traditional Irish music.

That’s right – we’d been in Ireland almost three days and not actually heard traditional Irish music in an actual Irish pub. We did go to an Irish “shindig” in Dublin at the distillery, but that was a tour type deal. I’d been hoping for pub music at a local place. We finally found it! We sat around drinking, listening to the singer, and talking with locals and other tourists as well. We met a couple from Ohio who were in town one last night and J made friends with an Irish lad and lassie – the lad was a wee bit strange but in all we had a grand night.

The next morning after breakfast we went back into town and walked the entire town again, stopping into shops at our leisure – shops that were closed the previous night. J took picture after picture and we shopped and just enjoyed ourselves. When lunch time came, we couldn’t make up our minds where to eat because of all the choices. A lot of places had a pub menu, which is really popular in every town in Ireland it seems, comprised mainly of fish and chips, chicken strips and chips, lasagna (I know, right?) and chips…. everything came with chips!

We went back to our room for a wee nap and then went back into town for more walking. We ended the evening at a unique pub that served American style food and had the sweetest bartenders, Alice and Caoimhe (pronouced Quee-vah). Then it was time to turn in, as we had an early morning since we were leaving for Cashel the next morning.

Posted in All About Me, Vacations | Leave a Comment »

We Had Fun Storming the Castle

Posted by mmkeekah on May 19, 2009

I’m still an Ireland – our last B&B did not have wireless, so I’m a bit behind in posting… the next two posts will be post-dated since I couldn’t post them until Thursday…

After our nap yesterday, we went back into the town of Kilkenny for dinner. We ate at a little pub and listened to, of all things, 80’s love songs. We sat and drank for about an hour but we were still exhausted… so we went back to our B&B and went to sleep. And that was the best sleep I had since we left! We woke up refreshed in the morning, packed our bags into the car, and headed back into Kilkenny to walk around since we were spending the day in Kilkenny.

We wanted to take the Kilkenny Castle tour, since the Castle ruins in Bushmills were closed when we were in town. The tour in Kilkenny was supposed to start at 10am… however, when we got there – the castle was closed until 1pm – which was too late for us to take the tour as we wanted to be on the road around then. Undaunted, we did a walking tour of the grounds and took as many pictures as we could and then did a walking tour of the town. It was a cute little town, busy and bustling with locals and tourists like us.

We stopped for coffee at a local cafe and chatted with some visitors from another town – and it was a lively discussion about the state of the economy, Bush, Obama and driving. They were a lovely couple and J got some good tips on how to drive through the roundabouts (something he and I had debated fiercely while driving :) ). We ate lunch at a pub right in the center of town before hitting the road to Kinsale.

The drives in between the towns we visited were filled with gorgeous, green-filled landscapes that took my breath away. The rain came while we were driving mostly, leaving the sun to break through at every stop we made (our hostess at each place greeted us by saying, “you’ve brought the sun with you) so we were pretty lucky on the rain front. Although, to be honest, I didn’t mind the rain or the chill at all.

We arrived in Kinsale, which is a tiny town sitting on the cusp of a harbor. Our B&B was beautiful – and the subject of tomorrow’s post.

Posted in All About Me, Vacations | 1 Comment »

Sleep? We don’t need no stinkin’ sleep…

Posted by mmkeekah on May 18, 2009

We didn’t have wireless in our last bed and breakfast (Sunday  night), but thankfully, we are in Kilkenny, Co Kilkenny, Ireland and our hostess does indeed have wireless!

Yesterday we got into Bushmills mid-afternoon after an interesting drive up to Northern Ireland.  J got a navigation system to ease our drive around Ireland.  It is programmable and you can choose from a variety of female and male voices with different accents.  J choice the American (Jill) so that we wouldn’t get confused… but apparently some of the roads have changed and the navigation  system has not been updated.  Jill took us off the main road and through some small towns where the road was really a one laner and yet fairly well-traveled in both directions.  It led to some harrowing close calls – at least in my eyes.

It did take us to this little town called Moira, where we decided to stop and take some pictures (yes, I will load them shortly) and we grabbed some lunch and a pint.  We sat talking with the locals at a pub called Mary’s, where the bartenders wondered why we chose Moira to visit.

Finally we got back on the road and into Bushmills.   After a quick nap, we went driving around to explore.  We ate dinner at The Royal Court, which overlooked the bay.  My dinner wasn’t anything really interesting to write about (steak and stout pie) but J chose the traditional fish and chips – it was delicious! After dinner we went to Giant’s Causeway, which was breathtaking. We walked around the cliffs, taking photos and marveling at the beautiful sight. We passed the Smuggler’s Inn (which was the place we should’ve eaten) and drove into downtown Bushmills to drive by the distillery.

We decided against the tour since we’d done the Jameson tour and were considering the Old Midleton Distillery later this week in Cork (shout out to Middleton, wassup!). We went back to the hotel to sleep – but alas, our internal clocks woke us both up at 230am and we both found it incredible hard to fall back asleep. We woke up to a traditional Irish breakfast (egg, bacon, sausage, toasted soda bread and to-mah-to) with coffee before heading out for the four hour drive to Kilkenny. J is resting now before we head into downtown Kilkenny for some exploring.

I’m a wee tired meself… so I think I might join J on that short nap. Ireland is beautiful but jet lag, my dear friends, is a real bitch.

Posted in All About Me, Vacations, boyfriend | 2 Comments »