Actual conversation after a visit to the store:
Me: (handing him a bag) Here, this is your stuff.
Him: Thanks. (drops the bag at his feet right where he stands)
Me: (snorts derisively)
Him: (pretending to be me) Why did you do that? I could’ve done that.
Him: (in response to the fake me) Well why didn’t you?
Me: Why are you are having this fake conversation with yourself?
Him: To save you the trouble.
Me: Well you don’t even need me around, then.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation at 3am on Monday morning just before he leaves for the airport:
Me: Moxi (kitty) keeps waking me up.
Him: (heavy sarcasm here) Gee I wouldn’t know what that is like – does she kick you awake?
Me: (laughing) Did I keep kicking you last night?
Him: Yes.
Me: I’m sorry. (slight pause) I think it’s your fault though.
Him: Of course.
Me: You have this new habit of lying in the middle of the bed so when I need to turn you are right there. I think it’s because you sleep alone in hotel rooms all week long.
Him: I think it’s because I am trying to get as close to you as possible.
Me: Aw. That’s sweet. Well now you will sleep better for the rest of the week since you will be alone.
Him: I sleep horribly during the week without you.
Me: (thinking) See, maybe you need to be kicked in the middle of the night in order to sleep better. I’m doing you a service. (grinning)
Him: Maybe.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation over the phone:
Me: I figured out why I was upset last night. It’s because you want to do that DVD workout now but when I could do it and wanted to do it with you, you wouldn’t do it. Now I can’t do the workout because of my knee, you want to do it.
Him: Can’t I be flippant?
Slight Pause
Me: Can you be what?
Him: Flippant, you know, flippant.
Me: I don’t think that’s what that word means. I mean, what do you think that word means?
Him: Are you near a computer?
Me: Oh I’m looking it up. It means frivolously disrespectful, shallow, or lacking in seriousness; characterized by levity
Him: Oh.
Me: That’s not the definition you intended, right? You meant more along the lines of changing your mind about the DVD, right?
Him: Yeah, that’s how I meant it.
Me: See what I did there? You literally used the wrong word but I interpreted what you meant to say based on the context of our conversation. I did what you can never do with me, see?
Him: Uh-huh.
Me: I’m serious. You see what I just did there, right?
Him: I understand because you pointed out to me that I should understand but I don’t understand how I’m supposed to do that.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation in the van with a friend we had breakfast with during a layover at DIA:
Me: So this one time…. (going on and on, sharing some story with said friend)
I notice out of the corner of my eye my friend’s hand in between Jeff and me. I reach back to grab her hand and turn around.
Me: Oh.
I find her standing in a surfing stance in the back of the van.
Me: You’re surfing. (I let her hand go and continue my story.)
She starts laughing.
Her: You saw me surfing and just let me keep doing it while you told your story.
Me: It never occurred to me that it would be odd.
Her: I know and that’s what I love about you.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual IM conversation:
Me: The girls came back to the house after dinner last night to hang out with me. That was way cool.
Him: Those kids love us.
Me: Yeah, they came back to the house after dinner just to check out the house and stayed til after 10pm.
Him: Did you all get topless and rub boobies? Cause that’s how I’m gonna remember it.
1 Comment | Actual Conversations, All About Me, boyfriend, funny | Tagged: boobies, girl on girl | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation talking about our favorite vending machine snacks:
Me: I like those small chocolate chip cookies.
Her: Like Chips Ahoy?
Me: No, not those ones. They are tiny chocolate chip cookies (using my hands to demonstrate the size) and they are small and….
She looks at me while thinking.
Me: I don’t remember what they are called… but they are good.
Her: Famous Amos?
Me: (triumphantly) YES! That’s them!
Her: I was named after those cookies!
Me: (laughing hard) Really? You were named after them?
Her: Yes because my mom told me that from the first month of pregnancy until she had me she craved those cookies and ate them throughout the pregnancy and NOW I love cookies!
3 Comments | Actual Conversations, AmyLou, friends, funny | Tagged: amylou, cookies, famous amos, margaritas | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation:
Him: Mine points to the north star.
Me: (laughing) That’s true.
Him: It will come in handy if we ever get lost in the woods.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation with a buxomy beauty around campfire:
BB: (to him) Does this bra make my boobs look big?
Him: I’m not sure how to answer that question.
Me: Your boobs make your boobs look big.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation:
Me: Thanks for always taking care of me.
Him: Uh huh
Me: I feel kind of special knowing you do this for me and you didn’t do it in other relationships.
Him: It’s 40% necessity.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: I don’t want to you to die.
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Posted by mmkeekah
Actual conversation at breakfast:
Him: I was watching this porno where this couple was doing it doggie-style but the woman was doing all the work.
Me: I think we saw that together. It sounds familiar.
Him: Yeah, it does sound familiar.
Me: (laughing) How can it not sound familiar to you? You just said it.
Him: Did I just say that?
1 Comment | Actual Conversations, All About Me, boyfriend, funny, sex | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah
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