an existential keekah

Actual conversation at 1am on the way home from a bar:

Me:  (searching through my purse drunkenly) Where’s the camera?

Him:  (soberly driving) I put it in your purse.

Me:  (as I dump the entire contents of my purse on the floor) No, you didn’t.  I just looked.

Slight pause.

Me:  We left it at the bar – great.  I will call them.

I pick up my iPhone and punch in Goog-411

Goog411:  This call is recorded.  Google!  Say the business and the city and state.

Me: (slurring and yelling into my iPhone) Frontier Club, Aurora Colorado

Goog411: (a search noise and then) Top Listing, Front Loading, Aurora Colorado. Number one…

Me: (frantic) No! Ah!

I hang up angrily and redial Goog411

Goog411:  This call is recorded.  Google!  Say the business and the city and state.

Me: (trying to go slow and speak clearly while obviously drunk) Au-ro-ra Club, Fron-tier Co-lo-ra-do… ah FUCK.

I hang up angrily again and once again redial Goog411.

Goog411:  This call is recorded.  Google!  Say the business and the city and state.

Me:  (slowly and more loudly) Frontier Club, Aurora Colorado.

Goog411:  Frontier Club, Aurora Colorado… top listing, number one, Frontier Club on Colfax Avenue…

Me: (into the iPhone) Number one.

I glance  at him and notice he is laughing his ass off at me.  I’m slightly embarrassed.

Me: (starting to giggle too) What?

Him:  That took you 10 minutes!

Me:  Stupid Google… (into the phone) Hi. We were just there and I think we left our camera at the bar.  No? Okay well let us know if you find it.  (to him) It must be in C’s back seat.

I dial our friend, C, who we were visiting with at her neighborhood bar.

Me (to C):  Hey, did we leave our camera in your backseat?  No?  Curses, it isn’t at the bar either.

Him: I may have put it in the back seat.

Me: (looking at him, incredulous) WHAT? (I glance in the back seat, then say into the phone while glaring at him) It’s in the backseat.

Me: (as I hang up) It was in the back seat the whole time!

Him:  (laughing)  Now you can go to sleep like you always do on the way home…

And here’s what happens with the camera when I finally go to sleep:

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 29th, 2009 at 4:20 am and is filed under Actual Conversations, boyfriend, funny, human condition. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.