My next guest blogger for Polyamory Week is Kevin, who is in a MMF Vee triad (keekah-note: A Vee configuration in polyamory is when one person (known as the hinge) has relationships with two different people who are not romantically involved with each other (known as the legs.) The legs may or may not have a friendly relationship with each other.)
Kevin’s Story
Hello all… my name is Kevin. I’m in an MFM triad-vee poly-fi relationship with snowbunny and brother-husband. She is the “hinge” of the “Vee;” he and I are the “legs” of the “Vee.”
They were married in 1995.
I met them in 1995.
We became good friends in 1995.
We became a triad in 2006.
I worked closely with snowbunny in a professional capacity in 2004 and 2005. She and I exchanged many increasingly long, personal emails. We eventually confessed feelings we’d had for each other for ten years. We’d never dared to confess that to each other before, nor even to ourselves, because we were monogamous.
We actually researched and discovered polyamory as a solution to our dilemma. She didn’t want to leave brother-husband, and I didn’t want her too either. I also didn’t want to give up on my romantic feelings for her, and she didn’t want to give up on hers for me either.
Brother-husband wanted the romantic relationships to be preserved. Polyamory was, for us, a middle ground that allowed us all three to stay together.
We’ve had much rough ground to traverse and crises in which the three of us almost split up. However, I think we have weathered those crises. The three of us have a very positive relationship with each other today.
Brother-husband and I are good friends. We get together once a week, just the two of us, to watch movies together and whatnot. We’re both straight, so the friendship is conventional and platonic.
Brother-husband lives in a townhouse. I live in a condo, just minutes away, by bike or by car. Our lady, snowbunny, lives at both homes in turn; about half of her days with him and the remaining days with me.
All three of us get together for dinner, conversation, movies, and what have you, about twice a week. Currently our big thing is watching Battlestar Galactica together. We’ve just this year been introduced to the series; we’re thoroughly hooked.
All three of us are very plain vanilla. If you saw us on the street, you’d never guess there was anything unusual about us. Our clothes are ordinary. Our hairstyles are conservative and non-colored. Neither guy has any tattoos, nor piercings. She has one small decorative tattoo on her ankle, and she had two piercings on each ear but one each of those has “sealed up.” Sometimes she wears small silver-bead pierced earrings.
All three of us are pretty conservative for being poly. Our biggest rebellions are our Democrat leanings, her non-organized-religious leanings, and my agnostic leanings.
We’re committed to limiting our sexual relationships to us three — which amounts to him and her,and to me and her. We’re also committed to sticking with each other for life.
We don’t rule out the possibility of adding a fourth (perhaps even fifth?) person to our three-person circle. We’re not actively looking though; we’re happy with what we have. If we did bring in a new person, we’d all have to be 100% comfortable about it, and the new person would be bound by the same commitments (as just described).
For more info on the definition and nature of polyfidelity in general:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyfidelity
If someone was to ask me to sum up the two man-woman relationships in our triad:
I’d call brother-husband and snowbunny peaceful. I’d call snowbunny and me passionate.
From those two words you perhaps get a glimpse of the pros and cons in each relationship.
And that’s why snowbunny has two guys in her life. Because brother-husband and I each contribute something that is good and unique.
As to the guys’ perspective in all this … We think it’s the closest brotherhood two men can share, when they care so much about one another that they’re willing to share the woman they love. To us the whole thing is a very cool way to live.
Posted by mmkeekah 
