Today is my mother’s birthday. She would’ve been 66.
I often see petite, Hispanic women in their 60′s and wonder what my mother would’ve looked like. I imagine she would’ve been quite adorable, all tiny and cute. I wonder if she would’ve talked to me in that Spanglish (half English-half Spanish) language my older relatives use with me at times. Sometimes I close my eyes and just remember her laugh – something I still can hear in my head even 22 years later. I hope I can always remember that sound, even if I can’t remember exactly what it felt like to hug her.
This day every year used to be the hardest day for me because I miss my mother so much. Not just having a mother, but missing my mommy. I think we would’ve been close. She seemed like such a good woman based on those who idolize her now. She was an extremely well loved and respected woman. I can’t imagine not appreciating that about her.
I tend to hold women I know now in that same respect. There are several women whom I hold close to my heart now because of who they were for me when I was younger and lacking in a mother figure. One of them is an old friend’s mother. She was and is such a strong woman, and she was the first person who taught me that respecting myself was of the utmost importance. I feel my stronge sense of self-worth is due to this woman. She isn’t perfect; heck, who is? Her daughters haven’t always seen what an amazing woman she is because they are blinded by the fact she is their mother. But I have the opportunity of being outside that dynamic, and I see a truly amazing woman who is strong, loving, and wonderful.
Another amazing woman in my life is my brother’s ex-wife, someone who will eternally be my sister-in-law. She taught me about the beauty of opening your heart and life to people less fortunate than yourself even when you don’t have a lot yourself. I always maintained that if she hadn’t been around after my parents passed, I’m not sure I would be here today. I don’t even think she realizes how much she saved me when my life seemed worthless. Plus, she is the mother of my niece and nephews; I will always be grateful to her for having those wonderful children. We haven’t always seen eye to eye, we’ve both made some terrible mistakes, and yet what I remember most about this woman is how she has always been there to remember my folks with me. Never a year has passed that she hasn’t emailed me or called me on anniversaries just to remember who my parents were to her and to me.
So today I will remember my mother, but I will also stop to remember the women in my life who were like surrogate mothers to me. I think my mom would want that… to know her little girl had good maternal influences in her life, to know that she was loved.
What would we do without our Mothers’? They teach us, guide us, and no matter how the relationship turns out in the end…we are who we are because of them.
You and your mothers’ are in my thoughts tonight!!!
A very nice tribute.