an existential keekah

In July, my honey and I attended a swinger’s event called Naughty Camping. A bunch of swingers getting together in the woods and having a good time.

Now I know I haven’t said much about being a swinger. I think that’s cause I don’t really consider myself a swinger… even though I engage in the frivolities that the “lifestyle” permits. I’ve had time to consider why exactly I feel that way and here’s what I’ve come up with – I tend to look at monogamy, swinging, and polyamory as a spectrum of sorts. On one end of the spectrum is monogamy – one love at a time, one sexual partner for one lifetime – and the other end is polyamory- many loves at a time, mulitple sexual partners for a lifetime. And swinging is somewhere in between – not necessarily the middle but on either side of it.

Now make no mistake – this is not an evolution that I speak of – it is a spectrum. As such, people often can and will fall along different points of the spectrum depending on their situations and feelings at the time. Some people always stay on either end of the spectrum – completely black and white “I am monogamous or polyamory and nothing else” attitude. And some folks move up and down the spectrum depending on their mood, their love situation, etc. And others, well they refuse to be on either end and prefer the middle.

That’s me – middle of the road. I am polyamorous because, not only do I believe that people can have multiple, successful love relationships, I actively participate in multiple relationships (hopefully someday successfully). But I also enjoy recreational (and responsible) sex on occasion. And – if I’m honest – I can even believe in monogamy as a viable relationship style. But I am not gung ho on either side, or at any point, of the spectrum – I don’t feel a need to pick up a flag necessarily and join a side in the debate that exists out there between monogamy, swinging, and polyamory. It just seems silly to me because love is love.

When we discuss lifestyle choices – I tend to identify more with polyamory because of all I’ve stated previously and feel that my swinging is incorporated into my open lifestyle. I know many poly friends who would (and have) argued to me that swinging is so completely removed from poly that it is no way associated to poly, but I can’t agree. Because for me, swinging and poly are a part of an open relationship style – and part of my open relationship style.

So for me personally – these little swinging extravaganzas I participate in are just an extension of my poly persona. Yes, I am a slut – but I am an Ethical Slut.

So anyway, it was at the Naughty Camping where I met this wonderful woman. Completely unexpectedly met my newest love interest. And crazy as it sounds, she liked me. AND she liked Jeff. Neither one of us expected to meet a potential love interest for one of us, let alone both of us, at a swingers event. And yet, because we were open enough to explore this situation, we opened ourselves up to this incredible lady.

Isn’t the world a crazy, wild ride?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 at 3:00 am and is filed under All About Me, relationships, sex, Swinging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.