Lately my life has been full. Full of life. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this alive.
School has me thinking of my future… a new possible future, or maybe a different future but in the same industry. I have choices and for once in my life I don’t know which path I will take. I’ve been so single-minded and driven in my career to keep getting promoted, to keep moving up, to keep getting more money. I’ve never really considered what I wanted to do, just what I needed to do to make more money.
Now my focus is still concerned with money – after all, this is a material world, and I am a material girl. But now I’m looking at what else is out there, what else interests me. I’m learning that maybe there are some things I do actually like about the skills I’ve learned even if I’m not overly fond of the industry I’m in. And I’m learning that there are other paths out there that I find so fascinating and scary at the same time.
I’ve not really focused on my dating life, other than my love Jeff, though I’ve not exactly being a wall flower either. I’m learning that I still have some reservations about other people in my life. Trust issues, if you will. I keep working on those issues but I guess I have to cut myself some slack in that arena. Or maybe, just maybe that special someone will come along just when I least expect it and will shake those last little issues right off.
I even have to admit to all of you and to myself that trust in friendships has been more than just shaken, but entirely shattered beyond anything I’ve known my entire life. Obviously, based on previous posts, I’m just as responsible as others. But I look back at the last few friendships I’ve had and I realized I never really knew those people as well as I thought. It would make a weaker person doubt themselves. But looking inside, I can honestly say I’ve always known who I was – maybe I don’t always make the right choices, maybe sometimes I make the wrong decision, but I am a good person. Maybe I need to remember that a little more when choosing friends.
Still, as always, I am hopeful for the best and looking forward to the opportunity to meet more people, keep expanding my horizon, and keep growing my own personal bubble as much as possible. I look forward, not behind (or at least I’m still trying to not look behind) all while I’m enjoying as much of my present as possible.
You keep looking forward, sweetie. I’ll look at your behind…
Onward and upward! Glad to see/hear you are doing well and excited about the future!
I think you are an amazing person! Full of life and spirit. And the fact that you can admit you have made wrong choices makes you a great person! I have always looked up to you! So keep trusting in your instincts. They gave you the life that you have now, and set you on the path for what is to come!! Exciting and scary as that may be!! Loves!