March « 2007 « an existential keekah

Three Things

March 30, 2007

A list borrowed from Karaoke Diva:

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. Spiders
2. The dark – or more so the things I think that are hiding in the dark
3. Things hiding under the bed

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
1. Jeff-Jeff
2. Kass-Kass
3. Dane Cook

Three Things I Love:
1. Peanut butter kisses
2. Hanging out with my girlfriend and boyfriend
3. A good party filled with people I know and love

Three Things I Hate:
1. Stoopid drivers
2. Stoopid fights that shouldn’t happen
3. Being misinterpreted

Three Things I Don’t Understand:
1. The world
2. Mean people
3. Organized religion

Three Things On My Desk:
1. A “Best Friends” picture with my girlfriend, our friend and me in it
2. A picture of my loves and me
3. A coffee mug that reads “Life is Short – Stay Awake for it.”

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:
1. Blogging
2. Verifying self care work orders for accuracy
3. Drinking coffee

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Live life to the fullest
2. Travel as many places in the world as I can
3. Write and publish a book

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Roll my r’s with my tongue – Carrrrnitas!
2. Make random people want to hang out with me
3. Laugh at myself and the silly things I think and do

Three Things I Can’t Do:
1. Speak Spanish.
2. Turn on Jeff-Jeff’s computer
3. Change my oil

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. My advice
2. My random thoughts by visiting my blog ON A DAILY BASIS
3. Your common sense – unless you don’t have any, then see #1

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. Country music
2. The news
3. The little devil on your shoulder – unless it sounds fun!

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:
1. How to drive a motorcycle
2. Patience
3. How to climb a mountain

Three Favourite Foods:
1. Spaghetti
2. Breakfast burritos smothered in green chili
3. What Knots

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
1. 3-2-1 Contact
2. Scooby-Doo
3. Dynasty (thanks, dad!)

Join in the fun and post your list today!

4 Comments | All About Me, List | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah

Batteries Not Included

March 28, 2007

Actual conversation over the phone:

Me: I can’t get the lawn mower to start.

Him: You’re mowing the lawn?

Me: If I can get the lawn mower to start. What am I doing wrong?

Him: (silence)

Me: I’ve checked the gas, I’ve pushed that pumpy thingy, I’m holding in the bar and it won’t start.

Him: (laughing) You do realize I’m in New York.

Me: Well I’m not asking you to fly back home but can’t you talk me through?

Him: (lots more laughing and I think I may have heard a chortle or two as well)

Me: Why are you laughing? This is not funny.

Him: You’re funny.

3 Comments | Actual Conversations, boyfriend | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah

Worried

March 27, 2007

I’m a little nervous.

Every time we hear something on cannibilism – and you’d be surprised at how often this subject is talked about or brought up – my girlfriend gets a little gleam in her eye.

Maybe you remember this post where she talked about eating me.

Hmm. I’m going to have to be very, very careful.

4 Comments | All About Me, ex-girlfriend | Tagged: cannabilism | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah

So it was Sunday afternoon. J was at the airport on his way to another city for the week. K and I had gotten our nails done and were supposed to go shopping. But the sale we wanted to take advantage of wasn’t happening for three more hours. K decided to go home first, spend some quality time with her family, get tanned then come back and pick me up.

I had three hours. I should clean was the thought that crossed my mind. I opened the closet door, got out the cleaning supplies and poof! the house was clean.

Well, first I sat down at my computer and researched all the proper ways to clean a house so as to assist me in my future cleaning endeavors. I’ve learned new cleaning techniques that I will write a book about to assist other folks who, like me, just want a clean house with minimal effort. I will be revered by all. And I now have the cleanest house on the block.

Okay, so I looked around the house and decided what we needed was a live-in maid. I quickly looked up the resumes of several up and coming housekeepers. They all were available for an interview that moment and came over. Each demonstrated their abilities by cleaning a room in the house. I was impressed by all, but decided to hire the hottest one because, let’s face it, he’s going to be around and I like the idea of a half naked man running around my house cleaning. And BONUS – my house is clean and I didn’t have to lift a finger.

Really, I looked around the house at what needed to be done and started crying. I had a breakdown because I swear I just cleaned the house last week, and since I was the only one home between now and last week, I can’t understand why it was messy. I sobbed into the fur of the kitties, then curled up in the fetal position for a good sulk. I called my therapist and he excused me from house cleaning duties for the rest of my natural life.

Actually, what happened was I looked around the house and thought, “Eh. It’s not that dirty,” and then went to the spare bedroom to lie down with the napping kitties. I alternately watched The Last Boyscout and On Golden Pond because who wouldn’t watch those two movies at the same time? After they were over, I watched Untamed Heart until my girl came and picked me up to go shopping.

I never did clean the house. Tomorrow. I will do it tomorrow.

4 Comments | All About Me, funny | Tagged: alternate endings, cleaning, lazy, Sundays | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah

Yin and Yang

March 26, 2007

Sometimes people surprise you.

We were at the movie theater this weekend, waiting in line to get into the theater showing our movie. It was an impromptu line; the showing before ours had gotten out but the theater hadn’t been opened for the next showing time yet. A bunch of us had gathered outside the theater since management had not created a wait line for us.

There were approximately 20 of us waiting. My group made up the middle portion of the line. Then management decides we need to move the line somewhere other than in the middle of the lobby. So they move us behind the red ropes – but the sign for those ropes read for a different movie.

As we moved behind the red ropes, I felt bad for the folks at the head of the line who’d gotten there early and were probably going to lose their place in line. It didn’t seem fair, but I considered that human nature would dictate those at the back of the line would take advantage of the move to secure the head of the line. After all, we are an opportunistic bunch and we all face the paradoxes inherent of the human condition.

But I was pleasantly surprised that only one couple out of 10-15 people ran ahead in line. The rest of us waited until those at the head of the line secured their rightful place at the start of the ropes. I commented out loud how surprising it was to see a folks do the right thing.

Of course, this could have ended there. But it didn’t. Management did not change the name on the sign. So a new line of folks who got there after the line move formed outside the theater where our movie was showing. Thus, all of us who got moved behind the ropes still lost our place and the choice of the best seats.

Sigh. It is better to do the right thing than be selfish and only consider yourself. Still. I would feel better about it had it turned out right.

2 Comments | All About Me, human condition | Tagged: movies, Surprises | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah

Things I Heard on a Product Support Call

March 22, 2007

Actual comments given in response to trouble calls opened on the product I use daily:

“Nobody has the answer to this problem.”

“It’s consistently working, but not the right way.”

“It’s a WAD.” (working as designed)

“We sent you the step by step fix, but you can’t do the fix.”

“It has always worked like that.”

and the final comment that ended the support call…

“We’ll get you taken care of…. eventually.”

Leave a Comment » | Actual Conversations, Work | Tagged: Stress | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day – You Drunks!

March 17, 2007

I hope everyone has a great St Patty’s Day. We are going out with my girl’s mom and dad and our good friend and her date.

Both my girlfriend and my boyfriend are Irish, so they can drink. I don’t have any amount of Irish in me, but I hold my own with them.

And HEY! If I play my cards right, they will put a bunch of their Irish in me later (huge grin)!!!

7 Comments | boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, funny | Tagged: drinking, St Patty's Day | Permalink
Posted by mmkeekah

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an existential keekah

Batteries Not Included

Worried

See, what had happened was…

Yin and Yang

Things I Heard on a Product Support Call

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day – You Drunks!

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