Actual conversation with my gay, faux boyfriend over the phone:
Poodle: This next weekend is Mardi Gras in Saint Louis.
Me: Oh that’s right! Are you actually going out?
Poodle: Yes.
Me: Oh that’s right! The city closes down at 8pm so you can go to bed at your regular weekend time, huh? It doesn’t really disrupt your old man ways…
Poodle: I’m going to cut you the next time I see you.
Me: (giggling) Nice.
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I like your “actual conversations” bestest.